As the world experienced an uprising of protests against racism, the global situation highlighted my deepest traumas and multi-layered upsets came up for healing. From anger to childhood wounds, no aspect of my being was left out as I dived deeper into my spiritual journey, all thanks to the Mirror Exercise.
The most obvious upsets that I healed were being angry and hurt by society’s systemic racism. With the blow-up of Black Lives Matter on social media, every racist situation that I experienced came up to be healed. And so, I am not surprised that a lot of people took to the streets, in all major Western countries, to express the sorrow of black communities.
I was asked to join the protests; however, protesting has never felt good to me, ever. Since I was a child, I always remember disagreeing, feeling uncomfortable with most demonstrations. Not because of the act of protesting in itself, but because they often highlighted deep separation of class and excess of violence. I felt into my heart that protesting alone was not the way. The things I was truly desiring were Union and Harmony. I just did not know how to have it.
It was difficult to stay in my truth there, being almost the only one of my relatives with that opinion. It was all the more difficult not to get angry as I moved from the French Caribbean to continental Europe, experiencing racial profiling and discrimination in airports, schools, malls, in the process of renting places, finding jobs, etc…
I felt rejected and alone, different (not in a good way), as I was seen as part of something “other,” and not for my skills or personality. When I found the work of Jeff and Shaleia a year ago, I had become so closed off and alone that it was difficult to even get out of bed. I felt like I couldn’t show myself and be appreciated, that I would be used and thrown out because my life was seen as insignificant.
That hurt deepened every time a racist murder happened in France, the UK, or the US. What caused even more rage was my friends and family telling me to “shut up and be strong” or it would only make things worse. I was left with no solution.
That was until I bought Twin Flames: Finding Your Ultimate Lover. The Mirror Exercise was a God-send. I bought the book, expecting to learn about Twin Flames. I did not expect to be offered the way to my perfect life, free of upsets.
Those who are on the Twin Flame journey know that your deepest upsets will come up to be healed. The deeper you go, the more important it is to know and master the simple tool that is the Mirror Exercise, because it is the highway to your Ascension. And, sometimes, challenges arise to help you in this mastery.
That is how this last month has felt. Racism is a wound so deep in society that every Mirror Exercise is a big step forward. Your choice is powerful! I literally took all the times when people made me feel unsafe and ugly, all the times I was discriminated against and loved myself. And then loved myself some more. I still am, it is a never-ending process.
The more I loved myself, the more I found my peaceful voice and my own way of protesting by raising awareness. The more I felt powerful, the less I saw negativity in my reality and on my social media feeds.
This goes to show that outrage means nothing and love is everything you need. Yes, there are horrible things in the world, but you would rather have peace. Peace is always the solution.
I want to share ACIM quotes and an excerpt from TFAS that were given to me by God when I asked Him about the meaning of all of this violence :
“Only my condemnation injures me.
Injury is impossible. And yet illusion makes illusion. If you can condemn, you can be injured. For you have believed that you can injure, and the right you have established for yourself can be now used against you, till you lay it down as valueless, unwanted and unreal. Then does illusion cease to have effects, and those it seemed to have will be undone. Then are you free, for freedom is your gift, and you can now receive the gift you gave.”
– ACIM, Workbook lesson 198
“I do not know what anything is for.
To me, the purpose of everything is to prove that my illusions about myself are real. It is for this purpose that I attempt to use everyone and everything. It is for this that I believe the world is for. Therefore I do not recognize its real purpose. The purpose I have given the world has led to a frightening picture of it. Let me open my mind to the world’s real purpose by withdrawing the one I have given it, and learning the truth about it.”
– ACIM, Workbook lesson 55, Review of lesson 21-25
“Pain comes from the choice to experience pain.”
– TFAS, W1Class 34
And there it was, the proof that outrage and condemnation would only bring more of that, and that pain was first an inner experience. Not that I attracted being discriminated; it was just that something in my vibration was out of alignment with my Divine Self, and it manifested as forms of discrimination in my physical reality. It was that simple. That truth alone puts so much relief in my heart!
And it doesn’t mean that I am not doing anything on the outside. It means that I do what I feel is most compassionate for myself and everyone. It means that my actions are first inner, and then outer. I am writing this post a few hours before a very timely Sunday sermon by Jeff and Shaleia which will take us all deeper into the understanding of the word compassion, I’m sure.
How healing racism transformed my Twin Flame Union
The most beautiful part of it all is that my Twin Flame mirrors and supports me perfectly there.
I admit at first I was scared… very scared. I’ve had so many friendly and romantic relationships where I was misunderstood, brushed off, or simply not heard on that issue.
The first thing that surprised me about my Twin Flame was how vocal he was about it (and very early too, even before the blow-up) where all my previous partners wouldn’t even dare say a thing.
Based on this, I had the expectations of having to “fight my battles” on my own, especially because he is a white man. And so, I completely melted when I realized how supported I was there. I was seen and loved by my Twin Flame in a place where no one could. This is one of the most beautiful things about Twin Flames: nothing can compare to the level of partnership and completion that you feel with them.
As I kept healing though, I experienced other fears. My Twin Flame is a musician with quite the platform and visibility. I was scared to even look at what he was posting, scared that he would just fuel the separation consciousness and violence. When I gathered the courage to look at it… it was completely peaceful and actually very useful and instructive. THIS was the result of all of my healing. Better even, if I saw posts that he shared and that I did not agree with, I simply made a new choice inside, and the energy of his posts was almost immediately back in alignment with peace.
It was a clear and powerful message from God; your partnership is perfect, even when you are not physically together.
Healing racism was the gateway to my deepest childhood wounds
At this point, my social media was completely cleared from any disturbing news and images, without me doing anything (thank you, Mirror Exercise). However, my healing took an interesting turn this morning, June 14th.
I opened my social media to see that several Black people on the US West Coast had been killed or abused in what I can only say resembled violent methods from the segregation era, with the blatant disregard of the local police.
I felt so angry and hurt at the news, powerless to see that the number of hate crimes was on the rise as people fought against it at the very same time.
I took the time to ask God, once more, what all of this was showing me. What I discovered in myself was so unsettling: I was scared of White men, I feared them. Worst of all, I fear God Himself, as the visual representation of Him is of a strict pale-skinned guy with a long beard.
I remember very painful memories of 2-year old me being in church, being scared of even approaching Jesus’ cross or paintings of Him and God.
Growing up in Catholic school, we were told to “fear” God and were never explained that He is not a wrathful man. In French, fear has multiple, complex meanings inherited from the History of Christianity. “If you don’t do this you will go to Hell!” – I am sure many of us have heard this one sentence. It is a reflection of how we have perceived God for so long. And that is exactly what reality is mirroring to us.
What it showed me was that I associated white domination and the abuse of power that I experienced in my normal relationship with my Divine Father; not consciously, as I have always loved God. But these upsets and hurts that I inflicted on myself restrained me from loving Him and myself fully.
It is safe to heal with God
I was cracked open by this realization. It explained so many experiences that I’ve had with the Divine Masculine! It even explained some of the imbalances that I felt in me and in my Union.
When I started to heal around racism, I could have never imagined how deep it would have taken me. To use a metaphor familiar with those who watch the classes of TFAS, this was one of my biggest ‘onions’, one I had only ever seen parts of. It was revealed to me how all these little upsets were linked to traumas from as far as I can remember in my childhood.
All of my healing was possible because of Jeff and Shaleia and their work. I know their guidance is something I have called in for a very long time. I know it and can feel it as I relax into every truth they share with us, every insight, every bit of wisdom to the questions I asked myself all of my life… I am grateful for them.
So let yourself be guided by God through every challenge. There are no small upsets – no upsets that you should brush off to the side while blaming something outside of you. They all have a meaning that is often deeper than we realize. It is also okay to ask for help, it is okay to want some support. It is even okay to ask Him directly, even when you are angry with the world… angry with Him. He will always respond with Love. Because Love is real, and Love never fails. Everything else is an illusion that you have created. You must simply return to the Truth with Him.