If you don’t accept them and you attempt to make it about your version of them, you’ll find they will probably move on without you. Denying their expressed identity is a form of violence whereby you attempt to murder their true selves with your refusal to listen to and honor them. They will quickly learn how bad it feels to be in a relationship with you and will likely grow apart. But accepting them for who they are means you will be able to join them in the joyous new chapter of their human experience.
If you are too cold, callous, selfish, and controlling to accept their victorious coming out, then you don’t deserve to celebrate their joyful newfound understanding and awareness of themselves. You don’t deserve to be near them and they’ll hopefully leave you to be alone and bitter as you cling to the empty skin of who you thought they were while they dance joyfully in their newfound understanding and awareness – hopefully around people who will love and accept them.
We hope you choose to lay down any thoughts of bitterness and selfishness in favor of warm, compassionate acceptance. To fail to do so is not only violent and evil, but its far-reaching consequences will surely come back to haunt you in the form of the rest of your life without your loved one’s delightful presence by your side.
Offering unconditional love, acceptance, support, and understanding during this challenging yet victorious time for them will surely earn you love, respect, and deep appreciation from your loved one. Your relationship with them will grow deeper as they learn that you are a source of comfort and strength in their lives, and that they can trust and depend on you to always be there for them. You better believe that kind of closeness is worth it!
We also have compassion for you, the loved one, in that this new information your loved one is sharing is likely shocking and potentially unexpected. You may feel like you lost a son or a daughter, and you’re not sure how to reconcile the change within your mind. If you do choose to stand by your loved one’s choice of coming out and/or transitioning their gender but you feel upset, loss, grief, confusion, and not sure how to cope or explain to your other family members about your loved one coming out, then we highly recommend reaching out to support groups for friends and family of LGBTQ+ such as:
Rainbow Love & Blessings,