The Key To Twin Flame Union: 5 Tips for Setting Boundaries

When it comes to setting boundaries, you might not have a lot of healthy experience. You might be so used to "peace-at-any-price" kind of thinking in your more difficult relationships that setting boundaries feels scary. Or maybe you feel the opposite energy of needing to put up rigid walls whenever relationships get rocky. Patriarchal society especially encourages women to overgive and not set boundaries.

Whatever your experience with boundary-setting, know that it can be a loving, empowering part of healthy relationships with your Twin Flame and beyond. Here's how:

1. Make it loving

Healthy boundaries are a form of loving discipline, not punishment. It's the feeling of: I love you so much that if you have spinach in your teeth, I will point that out to you. As opposed to: You have spinach in your teeth, therefore you are bad, and I must distance myself from you.

Feel into your heart. Does the boundary you want to set feel like it's coming from love and respect? Or from ego? Does it feel good or bad?

2. Don't take care of their feelings

It's impossible to set a boundary and take care of the other person's feelings at the same time.

This doesn't mean you have to be mean, but you don't have to make sure they're ok with the boundary you are setting. They most likely will have feelings and be upset when you say no for the first time, but that's ok. Let them have their feelings, and you stay with your boundary.

3. Make it clear, kind, firm, and brief

From your peace comes your power. In setting boundaries, it's important to be peaceful within yourself before you confront someone else. As stated in Tip 2, the other person will most likely have some feelings around the boundary you are setting. An easy way to keep it cool is to keep your boundary clear, kind, firm, and brief. You're not setting an ultimatum or reciting a manifesto. You are simply stating what you are willing or not willing to do based on your own self respect and honoring your needs.

4. Go to your own Source

Your Twin Flame hates codependency. No one likes to feel like they are responsible for someone else's joy. Cultivate a relationship with your own inner well – your Source of love within you – and your Twin Flame will thank you for it. They also won't have to set as many boundaries with you because you are loving yourself and they can enjoy loving you as they do!

5. Set boundaries on ego

Your Twin Flame will mirror to you how you treat yourself. If you treat your inner self horribly, your Twin will follow suit. If you set boundaries on the ego or fear voice inside you, you will find that setting boundaries on fear and ego behavior in others to be much easier!

Those behaviors will also disappear as you get good at setting the boundaries within yourself. When you heal it within you, you won't need the external mirror of it anymore to help you pay attention to your insides. (It can seem a little backwards at first, but once you get the hang of it, it's empowering!)

Remember that ultimately, your Twin Flame wants your highest, most authentic and true self. They will mirror to you where you are not embodying this. For instance, if you are not respecting yourself, your Twin will show you disrespect. The more you focus on you and stand up for yourself instead of trying to coddle them, the more harmonious your Union will be.

And you can always choose support on how to do just that.

Ready to try? Take the Twin Flame Test to see how strong you are in setting boundaries and choosing love!