When you first learn about Twin Flames, you might hear rumors about how it’s just a trauma bond or a version of Stockholm Syndrome where a victim finds love with their abuser as a survival tactic. The truth is that Twin Flames have a deep spiritual bond and purpose made of unconditional love. They mirror each other’s insides perfectly, including their positive aspects as well as their traumas and subconscious self-abuse. This can bring up things they might not have wanted to look at in themselves, and without proper support can seem like a trauma bond. Not to fear, though. True love is deeply peaceful and the opposite of abuse. Let’s break down these concepts to help you discern what kind of relationship you have, and give you the support you need to claim healthy true love with your Twin Flame.
What A Twin Flame Bond Is
A Twin Flame relationship is that of two souls with the same soul blueprint. They are perfect complements to each other, each other’s yin and yang. They are deeply united in love and bring about each other’s healing in self-love. As they are united at the core, they make the same core choices and have the same purpose in life, though it may manifest differently for each on the surface. They also mirror each other’s insides perfectly, helping each other be their best, most authentic selves. They are each other’s perfect teachers, best friends, and lovers. Their relationship only gets deeper and more aligned with love as they evolve over lifetimes.
What A Twin Flame Bond Isn’t
A Twin Flame bond is not traumatic and toxic. It doesn’t start out hot and then fizzle out over time. When one person in the relationship heals, the other doesn’t disappear or drain them of love. A Twin Flame relationship is peaceful at the core, not abusive or codependent. It is not a surface relationship or just a painful relationship you can’t seem to shake. It isn’t made of unhealthy patterns and abuse. It is made of true love. A Twin Flame relationship is deeply spiritual and brings about beautiful transformation in your life if you know how to work through the triggers it can bring up.
How Trauma Effects A Twin Flame Bond
Trauma is essentially a spot in your consciousness where you experienced something scary that your mind can’t release or process in some way. Because it can’t release, the mind subconsciously replays the experience over and over in many aspects of life.
If you have unprocessed trauma, you will most likely project that trauma onto your relationships. This is especially true for your Twin Flame relationship. Because trauma often causes you to disconnect from yourself, your body, and your feelings, you might not recognize your Twin Flame or they might keep choosing people other than you.
On the flip side, if one or both of you heals through your trauma, it will heal the patterns for both of you. The relationship will inevitably transform as you do, and your bond will go deeper and deeper in love and peace.
What To Do If You Are In A Trauma Bond Relationship
If you are in a relationship where you feel emotional connection with a person who regularly abuses you, and no matter what kind of healing you do, the relationship doesn’t fundamentally change, then you are most likely in a trauma bond. The first step is admitting it. Be gentle with yourself. Denial is a mighty protector in some situations. You haven’t made a mistake. You are simply learning and opening up to what true love is and isn’t. When you are ready, ask for help. Talk to a professional. Set boundaries with toxic behavior. Heal your trauma, and love yourself. Your healthiest relationship awaits.
True Love Is For You: My Twin Flame’s Story
Before I recognized my true Twin Flame, I manifested several false Twin Flames. One in particular haunted my life. We would feel so much connection with each other, but he would regularly choose to be with someone else. I started my own healing journey, and he would get closer for a moment then run away as soon as things got too real. I healed through some of my deepest traumas, and finally I realized that he was not my person. I was worth choosing at the highest level, and I wouldn’t keep tolerating anything less. I set boundaries with him, and sure enough, my true Twin came into my life. Right away our values were aligned, and we progressed in our relationship quickly. We definitely projected our traumas onto each other, but this time I knew how to heal. As I did, my Twin got closer to me, and unhealthy patterns dissolved for both of us. Fast forward to today, and we are married with a baby. We deepen our love and connection daily, and if we can do it, so can you.
If the journey is getting really difficult, and you would like some help, start with our free Twin Flame Toolkit.
Written by C.F.
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