How The Twin Flame Runner Thinks (& The Secret To Getting Them Back)

Let’s talk about the Twin Flame runner phenomenon. You’ve found your true love, but somehow they keep avoiding you no matter what you do. Or worse, they start dating someone else even though they love you deep in their heart. This relationship is supposed to be bliss, right? So what the heck is going on?

Not to fear. The whole “running” energy comes up so that you can heal it within you and within your union. You’re not going crazy, and the great news is it’s totally healable. In fact, the “running” is an illusion! Let’s dive a little deeper into what that means, and help you come back into each other’s arms. 

Who and what is the Twin Flame runner?

You may hear that the Twin Flame runner is the one in the partnership who is “less awakened,” provokes separation, blocks their counterpart, or constantly runs away in some form or another. It’s a trait commonly associated with the Divine Masculine, but both polarities (masculine and feminine) can have this experience.

Here’s the truth: the Twin Flame runner/chaser dynamic is a complete myth. Twin Flames mirror each other’s insides perfectly. If yours is “running away,” it’s just pointing to where you are running away from your true self. 

Also, Twin Flames are one at the core. This can seem like just a platitude, but truly, you and your Twin Flame are deeply linked on a spiritual level. It can appear on the surface that they’re far away, but know that they are with you at the heart level always.   

So put another way, a Twin Flame runner is really just you trying to run from yourself in some aspect. 

Am I the Twin Flame runner or chaser?

You are neither. Or rather, you are both. So then, why is your Divine Masculine or Divine Feminine getting into a relationship with someone else or blocking you? Once again, you are running from yourself somewhere.

What are the Twin Flame runner characteristics?

Are they avoiding you?

If they are having an avoidant behavior or blocking you, you can ask yourself if you are avoiding yourself somewhere. Are you avoiding feeling your feelings and numbing out? Are you avoiding taking care of yourself? Are you even avoiding thinking too hard about your Twin Flame for your fear is too painful?

If you answered “yes” or “maybe” or “just a tiny bit,” you have an avoidant pattern that needs to be healed. (You can always have support with this, too. You never have to go it alone.)

Do they refuse to open up?

Refusing to open is not a trait that is exclusive to a Twin Flame runner’s behavior. But it can definitely feel like a deal-breaker in a relationship.

Oftentimes, a Twin Flame’s reluctance to open up is linked to feeling like they don’t have space in the relationship. When you create space in your heart for them, and when you focus on yourself and your feelings, that’s when your Twin Flame feels safe opening to you and to the relationship.

Also, you mirror each other. So if they aren’t opening to you, it’s pointing to where you are not opening to your true self in some way? If you’re pretending to be something or someone you’re not, it makes sense that your Divine Mirror is pretending to not love you. Love this part of you that needs it. Heal it within you, and the pattern in your Union will heal too.

Are they as awakened as you?

I know it can seem like you are on different planets spiritually, but the truth is that your Twin Flame has the same level of spiritual awareness as you. It may look a little different for each of you on the outside, but at the core you are at the same level.

Twin Flames are complements to each other, not carbon copies. One of you may be more drawn to healing spiritual paths while the other might tend to physical needs and finances very well – and any combination in between. You’re both on the same team, just tackling different parts of the puzzle called Life.

How do they feel?

The Twin Flame runner may feel a wide range of emotions about you. They can deny their feelings, they can be in pain, they may be going through their own challenges as well. You may hear that they are running because they love you or are protecting you. This isn’t quite accurate.

First of all, Twin Flame separation isn’t a necessary stage of the journey. There’s no force in the Universe that actually wants you to be separate from your Twin Flame and reunite “when Divine Timing wants it” (time is an illusion). Your Twin Flame loves you. Their higher self and yours are simply programmed to point out misalignments in your Union.

And truly, the only thing separating you from experiencing Life with your Twin Flame is…you. It’s not the Universe, it’s not others, not your Twin Flame. But really you.

You desire to be with them but the fears in your consciousness are in the way of a peaceful and compassionate Union. These fears might be that you’re not good enough for true love or perhaps you’re anxious to be vulnerable. Your choice to go all in with Love means that any beliefs that are not Love will come into your face to be healed.

So, when your Twin Flame is upsetting you, don’t take it personally. Take the time to fill your needs within. If they are displaying toxic behavior, put boundaries so that your love can grow in a healthy environment. But most importantly, heal what they are showing you. You are more powerful than staying in the trauma.

How do I move on from my Twin Flame runner?

You can decide to move on, but the truth is, if they are your true Twin Flame, you’re already one with each other. Moving on, stepping back, trying to forget them may only delay Union and peace in your relationship.

The way to “move on” is actually to heal through. Heal through what they are reflecting to you. Work through the emotional triggers. They’re giving you a marvelous training ground for your life together, and if you don’t heal it with them, you’ll have to work through the same things with someone else. 

(Fears and triggers don’t just go away. You can choose to end your suffering now – simply by being honest about how you feel and accepting yourself – or continue to suffer and heal someday later).

Twin Flame runner, the awakening signs

Since the “runner” is awakened as you are, you may just really want to know: “when will they start to show their love and desire for Union as much as I do?”

Your Twin Flame loves you. Your Twin Flame desires Union with you. You have the same desires for life, remember? They are only giving you the fuel to become the best version of yourself. (Only a person who truly loves you would do that.)

So when do they awaken? When you awaken to your true self.

The full Twin Flame runner’s realization!

Most of your relationship to your Twin Flame is unconscious, including their behavior. So, when do they actually start to be aware of the Twin Flame journey?

Well, they don’t have to actually know the specific terms to come closer to you. And you don’t have to do the work of constantly reaching out to them or trying to convince them in order to achieve Union.

Your Twin Flame’s awareness comes as you do the inner work with yourself. In a sense, your realizations about your true self will mirror your Twin Flame’s full awareness about you.

Remember, the Twin Flame runner dynamic is a myth, and the “separation stage” is an illusion at the core. You don’t have to chase. You don’t have to run. You get to be your true self in your Divine Romance. When you are in a state of peace, authenticity, and feeling good, you are magnetic to your Twin Flame, your Ultimate Lover.

If the journey is getting really difficult, and you’d like some help, talk to one of our Ascension Coaches in a free 30minute intro session.