Relationships Are Hard Work — But That’s What Makes the Sex (and the Love) So Good

You found the partner of your dreams only to find that instead of the “happily ever after” that you’ve been wanting, you discover relationships are hard work. Why is this and how do you fix it? Instead of giving up on relationships altogether, take a look at what we’ve learned about relationships from the Twin Flame journey.

Why are relationships hard work?

There is a phenomenon that often happens with those closest to us. They love us deeply and they trigger us regularly. This is because they mirror our insides perfectly. If we are constantly beating ourselves up inside or numbing out our emotions, for instance, the people around us may be “beating us up” emotionally or otherwise. They may be numbing out to themselves or you as well.

How do you handle it? Use the Mirror Exercise. See what they are doing that is triggering you, and heal what’s coming up for you. Sometimes your own subconscious trauma spills out sideways, and the mirror is one way to help you bring it up for healing. Once you get the hang of this, relationships get much more peaceful!

Keep in mind the mirror effect is never an excuse for abusive behavior. No one deserves abuse, and setting boundaries is a deeply effective approach for all involved. In other words, someone else’s behavior is never your fault. If you’re experiencing any form of abuse in your life, a firm boundary and going all in to love yourself is the best response. You do not need to tolerate abuse simply because you are healing it within you.

A Hard Relationship Gift

One relationship that was always hard for me was the relationship with my mom.

We were very close, but she didn’t have great tools for processing her feelings. I grew up learning the same patterns of numbing out that she had. It wasn’t until I started using the Mirror Exercise and healing with Mind Alignment Process that I was able to see what she was pointing out in my own inner world and healing it.

Once I did, I was able to be much more compassionate with her, to the point of feeling peace and so much love in our relationship by the time she died. The healing and tools I learned in the process were incredibly helpful by the time I met my Twin Flame, too!

What To Do With Hard Relationships

If you are faced with difficult times with the people around you, or have chronically hard times in some relationships, remember that you always have choices. It’s easy to blame the other person, feel like a victim, avoid, and numb out. BUT, facing what they present to you and healing through it is a way nicer path. There’s even an added bonus – your healing stays with you and you’ll notice more love reflected back to you as you love yourself.

Chances are that the hard relationship is in your life for a reason. We recommend getting curious and open – what might the Universe be giving to you in the disguise of difficulty?

Sometimes the relationship is too deep and the history too tricky to unpack without assistance, though. Not to worry, there is always support if you choose it. You never have to heal alone.

Is There A Way To Start A Relationship Without the Hard?

It can seem like such a mystery, but building relationships that last can be peaceful if you choose. Here are a few ideas to get you going

Start by creating a love list of all the things you value in a relationship. This is a great barometer when first exploring a connection to see if you are both on the same page.
Treat yourself well. When you truly value yourself and enjoy your own company, people around you will mirror the same behavior towards you.
Set good boundaries. Your time and energy are valuable. No need to leak them with people or environments that feel bad to you.
Follow what you deeply love. When you are in the flow of your life purpose, you give off authentic and positive vibes that attract your good (and good relationships) to you.

It’s truly a myth that all relationships have to be hard work. You can heal through your relationship patterns and any hard feelings that come up along the way. There is always support, and you deserve the relationship of your dreams. The secret is that it begins with your relationship with yourself.