“Life continues to improve the more I do this Mirror Exercise! ” – Catherine Gale


The Mirror Exercise is covered in depth in the book “Twin Flames: Finding your Ultimate Lover” by Jeff and Shaleia and is taught by them throughout their entire body of work as the most powerful spiritual tool for self transformation. It’s something that we use and teach to others for healing upsets with love and finding inner peace. It works, every time. In this post we provide an introduction to the Mirror Exercise as well as a great deal of reliable information about your Twin Flame journey.


The Mirror Exercise is based on the principle that our entire external reality is a reflection of our inner world. We are only ever experiencing whatever is within us. When we are upset about something outside of ourselves, it points to a place within us asking to be loved. It’s our own responsibility to heal our upsets, and the Mirror Exercise allows us to do just that. It works even if used just once, although diligent application of the tool is what truly brings lasting results.



How it Works

It consists of four steps, though the final step is the most important and if this step is skipped, the healing won’t be complete. The first three steps are about identifying the upset and bringing awareness to what is within us that is showing up to be healed. Whatever shows up in our external reality – not only something related to our Twin Flame – can be used for healing using the Mirror Exercise. If you’re new to this, it’s best to start out by writing down all the steps in a journal.


Step 1: Identify the upset using a concise sentence. For example: “I’m upset that my Twin Flame is ignoring me.”


Step 2: Invert all the pronouns to point to yourself. Continuing the example: “I’m upset that I am ignoring myself.”


Step 3: Ask yourself how this is true. The answer is always that it is true, since you are experiencing it in your reality. Example answer: “Yes, it’s true. I don’t acknowledge my feelings and ignore my own boundaries. I don’t feel like I am good enough to be loved so I ignore my needs and don’t nurture myself.”



Another example could be:

Step 1: “I’m sad and feeling abandoned by my mother because she doesn’t support me or my choices.”

Step 2: “I’m sad and feeling abandoned by myself because I don’t support myself or my choices.”

Step 3: “Yes, it’s true. I doubt myself and don’t feel confident in my ability to support myself financially. I second guess myself for every choice I make and criticise myself if I make a mistake.”


Step 4: Close your eyes and go within to meet the part of yourself that feels the upset. Allow yourself to feel the feeling and ask that part of yourself what (s)he needs to feel loved. Give that love (and whatever you need) to yourself and invite the part of yourself to merge with you. You should feel peace at this point. Using the examples above, the part of you might want a hug, to be acknowledged or appreciated, or seen. You might need reassurance and you can use affirmations of Truth to support yourself in the healing. Affirm the Truth that you are complete, whole and perfect, perfectly loved by God and your Twin.



Love Yourself in Step 4 Fully and Completely

We’ll cover step 4 a bit more in depth here. Visualization is a powerful way to do step 4 and if you’re new to the Mirror Exercise, you can visualize the part of yourself that is experiencing the upset as a younger version of you. Imagine the adult version of you as you are now approaching the teenage/child/baby version of you, and take notice if there is a specific scene, environment or memory that you are entering.


Ask the younger version of you to answer the question of what (s)he needs to feel loved right now, and then give that to him/her in the visualization. Don’t hold anything back! After you have satisfied the other you and all his/her needs, you can invite him/her into your heart space and have them melt into you, integrating this previously disowned, rejected or forgotten aspect of your consciousness.


This works because time is an illusion, and so whenever you are triggered or upset in the now, it’s because there is an aspect of yourself that is still hurting from a prior experience/trauma/thought/belief etc. This part of you has been crying out for love and attention for awhile, and now you are here to finally give them what they have been needing all along. For journalling this step, you can note down that you’ve completed the exercise, or write down your experience and what you gave yourself to meet your needs in that space.

“The Mirror Exercise is life changing. You heal from within and get to see as your outer world aligns with your truth. You no longer live in contrast but learn to be one with God. I am thankful for the mirror exercise and it truly works I highly recommend doing it and seeing this for yourself.” – Jessi Hersey


This exercise works powerfully when you fully satisfy the needs of the part of you experiencing the upset. You will know that it works when you experience peace. Sometimes a new feeling of upset might arise soon after or during the process, so just continue to ask yourself what you need to feel loved without judgement and continuously give that to yourself. If something you thought you healed before shows up again to be healed, just have patience with yourself and choose to feel your feelings and love yourself there again. Healing happens in layers. If you start to feel resistance or struggle to feel your feelings, affirm to yourself that you choose to feel your feelings. Need help with this process? Sign up to work with one of our trusted and highly skilled expert coaches


This tool is not meant to be used to control external circumstances and people, and definitely not your Twin Flame. Always surrender situations to God! Although many have experienced shifts in their relationships with their Twins directly after using the Mirror Exercise, the way that you know that it has worked is when you feel peace after working through your upsets. This tool is for healing yourself. It’s not designed for you to try to use your Twin Flame’s behavior in your external reality as a means to validate your healing!


“Before the Mirror Exercise, I was convinced I was just a victim of my circumstances. I had no idea that everything my Twin Flame was showing me could be resolved. I felt ignored and unseen and would try to control and force things and get nowhere. After purchasing and reading Jeff and Shaleia’s book Twin Flames: Finding Your Ultimate Lover, I immediately began doing the Mirror Exercise. At the time, my Twin Flame and I weren’t speaking due to a fight a couple weeks prior. Within days, my Twin Flame started contacting me. Within a week or so, I joined Twin Flame Ascension School and my Twin Flame and I were closer than ever! My life completely changed!” – Angie Moggy


Learn more about the Mirror Exercise and how to have your permanent harmonious union with your True Twin Flame in the book  “Twin Flames: Finding your Ultimate Lover” by Jeff and Shaleia and explore our Twin Flame Ascension School classes for Free – click here.


Written by Carina Viljoen with contributions from Fabian Scholz and Deanna Pierce, all proud and dedicated students of Jeff and Shaleia’s Twin Flame Ascension School.