If you are diligently practicing the Mirror Exercise, as taught in Jeff and Shaleia’s book, Twin Flames: Finding Your Ultimate Lover, then you are already well on your way to your permanent and harmonious Twin Flame Union. However, knowing some of the blocks ahead of time can smoothen your journey. No more hitting your head against that wall! Here are some common and totally avoidable Twin Flame mistakes to watch out for:

1. You think Union is outside of yourself, or it is “coming.”  

So, let’s talk about time first. Time is an illusion. No really, it doesn’t exist, and neither does the future. So if the future doesn’t exist, your Twin Flame Union is never going to “come.” It’s not outside of you. It’s here now. If you think that your Union is outside of yourself, you might think, “Maybe if I wait long enough, if I meditate enough, one day it will come to me. This moment will end and a new moment will arise, and in that moment I’ll be happy and my Twin Flame Union will be here.” Big mistake! You can’t ever have something outside of yourself, it must first come from within.

When you make that choice to be in permanent harmonious union with your true Twin Flame, in that moment it arises from within you. (Hint: it was already, always there!) No one will ever be outside of you, nor will they ever “come.” Union starts from within, it grows from within, and you attract it on the outside in this moment, never a new moment.

2. You think having your Twin Flame Union is going to make you happy or make your life easier.

Big mistake! A lot of people put their eggs in that “later” basket of, “Oh, I’ll be happy when I have this.” Jeff and Shaleia call this the Prince Charming Complex.

Shaleia remembers thinking, “My life will get better when I meet my Twin Flame.” Years ago, there was a moment when Shaleia hit rock bottom. She was sleeping on the floor and crying, thinking, “If only I had my Twin Flame!” In that low moment Shaleia communicated to Jeff in her heart, saying, “I’m so low, I just need you so bad right now.” Shaleia remembers clearly hearing her Twin Flame’s voice: “Girl, get your shit together. You can’t come to me like this.” That made Shaleia get angry and wonder, “Where is the comfort in this?” But it was the truth. Shaleia couldn’t enter her Union with a co-dependent mindset. Her Twin Flame was telling her in that moment that she needed to pull herself together, love herself, and know that he did love and support her. He was showing his love by empowering her to do it herself and not think that he was her savior.

Your Twin Flame Union won’t make you happy, it will amplify whatever vibration is in your life right now. So you’re going to want to deal with that by going within using the Mirror Exercise. Because, once you meet your Twin Flame, they’re just going to help you deal with it, they’re not going to deal with it for you. Shaleia’s knight in shining armor didn’t show up to solve all of her problems. Shaleia became her own knight in shining armor.

As a result, she felt stronger and more confident in her life. She felt that she could handle her own challenges with ease and grace, because instead of calling in her Twin Flame when she is struggling or feeling weak, she calls on God instead and asks God for strength and support. That’s the appropriate relationship to have when you’re in those moments: always go to God instead. Jeff and Shaleia are not saying your Twin Flame won’t support you or won’t love you, but to remember that feeling of happiness and support comes from within you. Your Twin Flame is not going to make it happen for you, and never will they. Now, once you choose to support yourself, you’ll experience your Twin Flame supporting you, and it’s wonderful, but they are not going to do it for you. You have to do it first. And that’s what all of Jeff and Shaleia’s work teaches.

3. You think you can receive help from teachers who lie to you.

To start with, be willing and open to the truth of whoever you are receiving information from. Are you lying to yourself somewhere? Because that is the only way you could ever be lied to, in spiritual truth. Otherwise you couldn’t possibly attract a teacher who lies to you. Shaleia catches lies in books and videos, and she knows when someone is lying in their spiritual teaching. This is because she is very clear with herself and very clear with the Truth, and she has a very clear relationship with her Creator, so she knows when something is really “off.”

Sometimes people expect a spiritual teacher to lie. They expect the teacher to not know what they are talking about, and they assume that they have to figure out for themselves what the teaching is. Jeff and Shaleia have experienced students who will take Jeff and Shaleia’s information and think, “Okay, we’ll figure it out for ourselves.” But that’s not what Twin Flame Ascension School is about! Jeff and Shaleia actually have the real thing and you actually can receive it. Just receive it! You don’t have to go off on your own and figure it out; it’s already been figured out and is simply being given to you.

There is a big difference between a teacher who genuinely provides truth and a teacher who gives you crap for some private agenda. The only value in the crap from a “teacher” is if you use the crap as an opportunity to think for yourself. But if you take the Truth and also think for yourself, and try it on, the Truth will help you every single time. That is what the students of Twin Flame Ascension School and the e-Courses experience consistently.

4. You think Union is possible for others, but not for you.

No, Union is possible for everyone! All you have to do is choose your Twin Flame sincerely in your heart, and continue making that choice all the way through until your healed state of being in Harmonious Union with your Twin Flame. Don’t fall for this pattern of thinking: “I can’t have that magical castle. That person has it but by God I won’t, I can’t. It just seems ridiculous.” Do you think this is meant to be the carrot dangling in front of you, that you never get? No, of course not! That’s a nihilistic viewpoint and very self-defeating. It’s a perpetuating cycle of self-loathing. It doesn’t really serve you anymore and it’s safe for you to make a different choice: which is that your Union is possible.

Your Union is as possible for you as it was for Jeff and Shaleia. That puts you on a very fair and even playing field. Jeff and Shaleia didn’t do anything super magical, all they did was keep choosing their Union and removing all the thoughts that were out of alignment with their Union, such as, “I’m not good enough” or “Who could ever love me?” or “I can never trust a man, I’ll be hurt.” All of those are thoughts of separation from your Beloved One.

How could you possible attract Harmonious Union if you believe you can be abandoned? You might say, “Well I see the truth of that in my reality. Almost every relationship I have, I get abandoned.” Well, okay, let’s look at that. What’s happening inside of yourself? What thoughts and choices are you making that are creating this outer experience of abandonment? Nothing can happen outside of you.

Truthfully there’s only one thing ever happening, and that’s what is happening inside of you. So what you’re really saying is, “Hey, I’m abandoning myself here.” Where in your life are you not honoring yourself? Is there an inner fascist inside of you who says, “You must do this! You must do that!” Wherever you are betraying yourself, make a new choice and you will never experience abandonment again in your life. Even if it looks that way from the outside, even if you heal this and you still notice people going in and out of your life, it has nothing to do with you if you feel no reaction inside and you feel peace all the way along. That’s how you know you’ve healed it.

Claim Your Support Now!

Your union is possible! Jeff and Shaleia believe in your Union as much as they believe in theirs, which is 100%. If you’ve found yourself making any of these common Twin Flame mistakes, don’t worry. You can receive the best support in healing these blocks when you get a FREE consultation with a trusted, expert coach personally trained by Jeff and Shaleia.

Transcribed from the video “4 COMMON TWIN FLAME MISTAKES TO AVOID!” by Jeff and Shaleia.