Have you ever had a very bad breakup and said to yourself: I’m never letting this happen to me, ever again.
Me too. I’ve been there done that. I’ve gone through relationships that weren’t for me. They made me feel like I’d rather stay single than endure another romantic relationship that didn’t feel good.
Unbeknownst to me, my resolve to never go through that again was what helped me find my ideal partner.
Here is what I did that led me to my perfect relationship:
1. I made a list of the qualities and values I desired my partner to have
The last relationship I was in felt very disrespectful. It felt like I was sacrificing myself, just to have crumbs of love and affection.
Ultimately, I realized that it was because we didn’t see eye-to-eye that it didn’t work. None of our life choices and goals aligned.
I made a promise that I would never sacrifice for someone ever again. In doing so, I began to establish a mental list of the life goals and values I would like my ideal partner to have.
The process is called writing a Love List
I met my Twin Flame a week after I did that. I was shocked to realize that he fit the points I had made for myself. The last relationship fell through because we didn’t see eye-to-eye. But my Twin Flame and I seem to always be perfectly aligned with each other.
To be certain that I was making the right decision, I decided to write a Love List with the help of this book. A Love List is a precise list of how you envision your perfect relationship.
I invite to read it and make the exercice in the book. It’s crazy how precise you can be and how high you can with your standards. Somehow, your ideal partner will always meet you there.
2. I learned to appreciate my own company and date myself
I mentioned earlier that as I broke up with my ex, I made the promise that I’d rather stay alone than go through a difficult and disrespectful relationship ever again.
I really resolved to treat and value myself better. I think that’s why I met my Twin Flame and started this journey. Our ideal partner is really a reflection of ourselves. The more you value yourself, the more you feel valued in your relationship.
Going through the breakup helped me realize where I was in my relationship with myself:
Am I treating myself right? Am I enjoying my company? Am I dating myself?
Am I feeling good emotionally, not only physically?
3. I learned to self-regulate my emotions
If there’s one thing you must know about relationships, it is this: your ideal partner is not your savior.
On the contrary, your ideal partner is probably going to make you realize where you are feeling bad about yourself. Codependency and attachment, self-worth, etc. Being with my Twin Flame is a very humbling, yet strengthening experience.
The truth is, you can’t expect your partner to give you the attention and love you crave. They give you a little, but the majority of it must come from yourself.
I realized that a relationship can’t make me feel better about myself. It’s not going to solve my problems. I must be the person to do that.
4. I got emotional and mental support
Being in a healthy relationship made me realize that being healthy is a lot of work. Truly, I think we all struggle with our own patterns, upsets and even traumas.
Life is a lot, and i think it’s perfectly ok to have support in order to go through it and build that strength. Your partner can’t save you, but learning how love yourself with a professional can.
I needed support that helped me work on my upsets with my Twin Flame, but also helped me achieve my professional goals and dreams because I felt stuck in a life I didn’t want. My Ascension Coach has, and continues to help me grow.
I went from anxiety to peace, and I built my life and career in less than 2 years (after I graduated from college). You can have that too. You can have your ideal partner and ideal life. You can answer our quiz and get matched with a Coach today.
Written by Yoreen Marcin
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