What is the dark night of the soul that so many Twin Flames experience? Is it something to be scared of? Does it ever end? Or does it hide many blessings that takes you into deeper peace?

Along your spiritual journey, you have probably noticed that you have come across many instances of the dark night of the soul. These are extremely challenging times that are designed to really test your mastery. The dark night of the soul helps you become aware of what you are creating and manifesting, so you can make different choices that are in alignment with love. And it’s no surprise that, on your Twin Flame journey, you may experience more than one dark night of the soul.

Jeff and Shaleia know the hopelessness, sadness and fear that washes over you during a dark night of the soul. You can read about their Twin Flame story in their book Twin Flames: Finding Your Ultimate Lover. A dark night of the soul is intensely challenging. It can be scary and extremely painful when you’re not sure what’s going on in your Twin Flame Union, you feel like you’re losing control, and you don’t understand what’s happening.

Don’t worry. What’s really going on is that you’re experiencing “massive upheaval” because you’re aligning with new levels of love within yourself and with your Twin Flame. These new levels of love that you’re experiencing are at a completely new and higher vibration; it’s nowhere near the vibration you were at previously.

What causes a dark night of the soul?

This “massive upheaval” can be sparked in surprisingly simple, small ways. For example, if your Twin Flame gazed at you and said, “Oh you’re just so lovable!” but you’re holding a firm belief that you’re not lovable, guess what’s going to come up? A dark night of the soul.

Or let’s say you’re wondering why your Twin Flame won’t contact you, and there’s this insane amount of separation coupled with a total breakdown of communication, guess what the result of that will be? Yep, a dark night of the soul.

The dark night of the soul is only the next step to claiming your Harmonious Union, so there’s no need to fear it. Shaleia often says that “Being in Harmonious Union with your Twin Flame is really about being in Harmonious Union with yourself.”

Jeff and Shaleia’s dark night of the soul

Nine months into their Union, Jeff and Shaleia began experiencing insane turmoil. They had started out in a blissful love bubble, without too much conflict. Then suddenly it was as if crisis after crisis was happening and the turmoil didn’t stop. Shaleia began to think, “Oh my gosh, if we don’t pull out of this pain, I don’t know if we’re going to make it. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I might just have to call my lifeline to book me a flight out of here.”

Despite these fears, Shaleia knew in her heart of hearts that it wasn’t right to leave and she wasn’t really being abused. There was just a lot of trauma and deep childhood wounding coming up for both Jeff and Shaleia. For weeks they barely spoke to each other. The situation was extremely painful for Shaleia and triggered her dark night of the soul. Shaleia consulted her guidance and also consulted her own spiritual teacher at the time, and they concluded that this dark period would be over soon. Jeff and Shaleia were just upheaving and coming into new levels of love and intimacy.

And what true intimacy is about, is revealing your soul to your Twin Flame. As Jeff and Shaleia continued to reveal their souls to each other, they loved each other in their most vulnerable places, and this actually brought more pain and upset to the surface. It seemed like this period of trauma and triggering would never end!

Finally one day, there was a huge breakthrough and they suddenly broke free of the pain. Jeff and Shaleia were crying together and hugging each other in bed, feeling intense relief. The pain had passed and they were finally loving each other at new levels. And they knew in that moment that they were not going to break up.

When a dark night of the soul is over, it’s really over. Jeff and Shaleia have never had that same level of massive upheaval again. Sure, they have had their upsets and deep blocks to be cleared, and they have arguments like any other couple, but they have not gone back to that dark time of hopelessness and powerlessness.

What do you do?

If you’ve had a breakdown in your Twin Flame Union and you’re experiencing a dark night of the soul, Shaleia suggests that you focus on coming into Harmonious Union with yourself by doing the Mirror Exercise. Your Twin Flame is your perfect mirror and they are simply showing you the places where you are out of alignment with love. And since your Twin Flame is one with you, they will also be going through a dark night of the soul.

The only way to resolve your pain is to go inside and heal that pain within yourself. You’re not going to gain anything by just sitting on your butt and waiting for your Twin Flame to do all the healing work. That is not how it works at all! If you’re aware of it, you’re responsible for it.

When Jeff and Shaleia were going through their tumultuous dark night of the soul, they took a lot of space and focused only on giving themselves the love they needed. If they tried to come together again before they were ready, they’d have a huge fight and have to go to their separate corners again. Remember, your Twin Flame is not your source of love. At best, you can see them as a catapult that you can use to go deeper into loving yourself.

There is one fundamental truth here that Jeff and Shaleia cannot emphasize enough: you are responsible.

Nobody outside of you, no matter what, can do for you what you must do for yourself. You are responsible for your own love and you must choose. You absolutely must choose, you cannot get around that. Nobody will make the choice for you and in order to choose love (instead of choosing fear), you must start by becoming present with what is.

If you don’t take responsibility for your own healing, then what you’re really trying to do is control everyone around you because you’re trying to get them to do it for you. But they won’t, and they can’t.

The dark night of the soul is about your ego death. This is a very beautiful and wonderful thing because the key to Harmonious Twin Flame Union is Divine Love. When you invite Divine Love into your life, you are attracting your Twin Flame because your Twin Flame – as your Ultimate Lover, your best friend, your teacher and your partner – is the utter embodiment of Divine Love.

There’s no room for ego in Divine Love. You cannot be in Harmonious Union, like Jeff and Shaleia, unless you start choosing your Divine self. When you choose your Divine self, you are inviting God more and more into your life. And as you do that you’re going to realize that you are experiencing less and less suffering. Instead you’re going to experience greater happiness and peace!

If this experience of peace and happiness comes as a surprise to you, it’s because the unconscious programming of our collective consciousness is that choosing ego, separation and duality feels good, while choosing Divine Love feels bad. This is absolutely not true! Only Love is Real, and Love Never Fails. The purpose of a dark night of the soul is to bring you to this love, not to show you that suffering is glorious.

This glorification of separation and suffering is programmed in our conventional religious thinking too. Shaleia grew up Catholic and went to church every Sunday until she was eighteen years old. She noticed that her religious community equated divinity with suffering. There was the image of Jesus being crucified on the altar, which showed that people thought that you had to suffer to get your Good. But Jesus did not suffer. The whole point of Jesus’s resurrection was to show you that there is no suffering, there is no death. Jesus’ message was, “You can’t attack my body. It may appear like you’re attacking me, but you’re not because attack is not real.” God did not create attack.

When you’re aligning with God your whole reality shifts, because you’re going to start living from that space of Truth all of the time. That Truth is your place of power. When you live from this place of power, it’s impossible not to be in Harmonious Union. You will not experience a dark night of the soul again, and even the concept of separation will become an outdated idea.

Remember, the best thing you can do is to remain in a space of trust. Trust your own Divine self and trust God. Trust the higher self of your Twin Flame. You are going to pull through and you are truly making choices out of love.

Claim your support!

The students at Twin Flame Ascension School have been through the dark night of the soul, and have broken through it to deeper levels of peace and love.

If you would like help, we can offer you the road to peace and all the support you need in your spiritual work. You can join us in our peace instead of letting the ego tell you lies about yourself!

Further Reading and Resources for Support in the Twin Flame Dark Night of the Soul

To discover more about how to move through the dark night of the soul to attract and maintain your Union permanently, check out Jeff and Shaleia’s Free Twin Flame Ascension Introductory Course.

If you would like some help to go deeper into the wisdom of the teachings and resources here, we can match you with the perfect Ascension Coach to help you with your next steps. Yes, please match me!

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Adapted from the video “TWIN FLAME DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL” by Jeff and Shaleia.