What is the dark night of the soul that so many Twin Flames experience? Is it something to be scared of? Does it ever end? Or could it hide many blessings that are designed to take you into deeper peace?
Along your spiritual journey, you have probably already experienced the dark night of the soul. This can be an extremely challenging time, designed to bring you back to unconditional Love. It helps you to develop awareness of the workings of your consciousness, so that you can make different choices more in alignment with Love. It’s no surprise, then, that on your Twin Flame journey you will, more than likely, experience this more than once.
Jeff and Shaleia know the hopelessness, sadness and fear that washes over you during these times. You can read about their Twin Flame story in their book Twin Flames: Finding Your Ultimate Lover. A dark night of the soul can be intense and challenging. It can also feel scary and extremely painful, too. You feel unsure about what’s going on in your Twin Flame Union. It feels like you’re losing control, and you don’t understand what’s happening.
Don’t worry. What you’re really experiencing is what we call upheaval. A process through which you are letting go of everything that is no longer serving your highest interests. A process through which what is not in alignment with Love is released, which makes room for real, True Love to come in. Coming into Union with your Twin Flame aligns you to this new level of Love within yourself and with your beloved. These new levels of Love that you’re experiencing are at a completely new and much higher vibration; nowhere near the vibration you were at previously.
What causes a dark night of the soul?
This upheaval can be sparked in surprisingly simple, even small ways. For example, your Twin Flame gazes at you and says, “Oh you’re just so lovable!” But, because you’re holding a firm belief that you’re not lovable, then a dark night of the soul gets triggered.
Or let’s say you’re wondering why your Twin Flame won’t contact you. There’s this insane amount of separation coupled with a total breakdown of communication. Guess what the result of that will be? Yes, a dark night of the soul.
These experiences are only the next step to claiming your Harmonious Union, so there’s no need to fear it. Shaleia often says that “Being in Harmonious Union with your Twin Flame is really about being in Harmonious Union with yourself.”
Jeff and Shaleia’s dark night of the soul
Nine months into their Union, Jeff and Shaleia began experiencing insane turmoil. They had started out in a blissful love bubble, without too much conflict. Then suddenly it was as if crisis after crisis was happening and the turmoil didn’t stop. Shaleia began to think, “Oh my gosh, if we don’t pull out of this pain, I don’t know if we’re going to make it. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I might just have to call my lifeline to book me a flight out of here.”
Despite these fears, Shaleia knew in her heart of hearts that it wasn’t right to leave. She knew, in truth, she wasn’t really being abused. There was just a lot of trauma and deep childhood wounding coming up for both Jeff and Shaleia. For weeks they barely spoke to each other.
The situation was extremely painful for Shaleia and triggered her dark night of the soul. Shaleia consulted her guidance and also consulted her own spiritual teacher at the time. They concluded that this dark period would be over soon. Jeff and Shaleia were just upheaving and coming into new levels of Love and intimacy.
Being more intimate
What is true intimacy? Is about revealing your soul to your Twin Flame. As Jeff and Shaleia continued to reveal their souls to each other, they loved each other in their most vulnerable places. This actually brought more pain and upset to the surface. It seemed like this period of trauma and triggering would never end!
Finally one day, there was a huge breakthrough and they suddenly broke free of the pain. Jeff and Shaleia were crying together and hugging each other in bed, feeling intense relief. The pain had passed and they were finally loving each other at new levels. And they knew at that moment that they were not going to break up.
When a dark night of the soul is over, it’s really over. Jeff and Shaleia have never had that same level of “massive upheaval” again. Sure, they have had their upsets and deep blocks to be cleared. They have arguments like any other couple. But they have not gone back to that dark time of hopelessness and powerlessness.
What to do?
If you are experiencing a dark night of the soul, Shaleia suggests focusing yourself on coming into Harmonious Union with yourself. You can do this with the help of the Mirror Exercise.
Your Twin Flame is your perfect mirror and they will show you where you are out of alignment with Love. And, since your Twin Flame is One with you, they will also be going through this stage alongside you.
The only way to resolve your pain is to go inside of you and heal that pain within yourself. You’re not going to resolve it by waiting for your Twin Flame to do all the healing work. That is not how it works. If you’re aware of it, you’re responsible for it. That is good, because now you can do something to make yourself feel better.
When Jeff and Shaleia were going through their tumultuous time, they took a lot of space to heal. They focused only on giving themselves the Love they needed. If they had tried to come together before they were ready, they would have had a huge fight and gone to their separate corners again.
Your Twin Flame is not your Source of Love. They are first, and foremost, your Teacher. They will show you how you can learn and go deeper into loving yourself first.
The key is in your hands
There is one fundamental truth we cannot emphasize enough: you are responsible for how you are feeling.
Nobody else can do for you what you must do for yourself. You are responsible for your own love and you must choose. You absolutely must be the one choosing it. There’s no way around that. Nobody will make the choice for you. Nobody can choose Love (instead of fear) for you. You must be the one choosing to be present with how you are truly feeling.
If you don’t take responsibility for your own healing, then what you’re really trying to do is control everyone around you. You’re trying to get them to do it for you. But they won’t, and they can’t. That isn’t the role of your Twin Flame. Everyone has to move through their challenge. Each and everyone goes through their dark night of the soul, as this is the path of going back Home to God. Pain is never permanent, but you do have to move through it. And you can be supported and well prepared when you do.
The purpose of Twin Flame dark night of the soul
This experience is about letting go of your old self and beliefs. It is a very beautiful and wonderful thing, because it means coming closer to your Twin Flame. It means being in harmony with who you are at your core.
When you invite Divine Love into your life, you are attracting your Twin Flame. They are your Ultimate Lover, your best friend, your teacher and your partner because they are the embodiment of Divine Love.
In the presence of Unconditional Love, there’s no room for your old way of being. When you choose Love, you are inviting more of who you truly are into your life. And as you do that you’re going to realise that you are experiencing less and less suffering. Instead, you’re going to experience greater happiness, peace and joy.
These changes may be surprising to you. Mostly because for a long time, maybe you believed that choosing ego, separation and duality felt good, while choosing Divine Love felt bad. This is absolutely not true. That’s why the purpose of a dark night of the soul is to help you let go of suffering and embrace Love instead.
Shaleia once shared that, growing up Catholic she went to church every Sunday until she was eighteen years old. She noticed that her religious community was also holding on to the idea of suffering.
There was the image of Jesus being crucified on the altar. It represented this belief that you have to suffer to get your Good. But Jesus did not suffer. That is the whole point of Jesus’ resurrection. To show you that there is no suffering. There is no real death. Jesus’ message was:
“You can’t attack my body. It may appear like you’re attacking me, but you’re not because attack is not real.”
Claim your support!
When you align with God your whole reality shifts, because God did not create attack. These changes can be very challenging, and the best thing you can do is to remain in a space of trust. Trust in your own Divine Self and trust in God. Trust the Higher Self of your Twin Flame. You are going to pull through as long as you truly make choices out of love. Divine Love is completely safe.
The students at Twin Flame Ascension School have been through dark nights of the soul too. They, too, have broken through it, and experienced deeper levels of peace and Love.
We invite you to explore more about how you can move through the dark night of the soul. Doing this will help you attract, and maintain your Union permanently. Check out Jeff and Shaleia’s free Twin Flame Ascension Introductory Course, and begin taking the steps into a better and more fulfilling life.
Adapted from the video “TWIN FLAME DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL” by Jeff and Shaleia. Edited by Déborah Bassow, May 2023.
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