Are you going through arguments in your Twin Flame Union? Maybe you and your beloved Twin Flame are loudly yelling at each other, or maybe you two are needling each other with passive-aggressive behavior and verbal jabs.
Every upset in your Twin Flame Union can be resolved with the Mirror Exercise. However, sometimes you also want to smoothen an argumentative situation before getting the space you need to do the Mirror Exercise on the upset.
What do Twin Flame arguments look like?
Here’s an example of what an argument between Twin Flames might look like.
One day Shaleia was running the InSinkErator to the garbage disposal for a good twenty seconds. Annoyed, Jeff said, “You know that’s a solid InSinkErator, right? You don’t need to run it for that long.” And however Jeff meant it, Shaleia took his comment to be slightly annoying. Shaleia snapped back at Jeff in a way that Jeff found equally annoying.
In a Twin Flame Union, each lover is equally capable of starting an argument. There are times when Shaleia says something that Jeff finds offensive, disrespectful or annoying, and he will throw it right back at her and annoy her in turn. Because Twin Flames are perfect mirrors for each other’s projections, these arguments can happen even if you did not mean to trigger your Twin Flame. However you meant it, your tone of voice or the words you use can be taken differently by your Twin Flame. You can learn more about projection in Jeff and Shaleia’s eCourses.
Nasty arguments don’t help a Twin Flame Union
While all arguments in a Twin Flame Union are ultimately beneficial if you choose to heal the upsets being mirrored to you, constantly snapping at each other or yelling at each other does not improve the dynamic between you two.
Jeff and Shaleia realized that even though they did the Mirror Exercise diligently, the constant arguments between them weren’t helping their romance. Jeff said, “This is making us deal with twice as much crap in our Twin Flame Union.” Jeff and Shaleia discussed their arguments and wondered how they could at least cut the amount of arguing in half, so that they weren’t continuously reflecting crap back at each other.
Don’t be reactive
When one person flings crap at another in a Twin Flame Union, it’s usually unintentional. Your Twin Flame is weighed down by too many unconscious triggers for them to handle in that moment, even if they are doing the Mirror Exercise.
Jeff and Shaleia came up with an idea of how to sweeten negativity in their Twin Flame Union. They realized that if one person brought awareness into the moment before getting reactive to a verbal jab, the argument could be nipped in the bud.
For example, let’s say Shaleia snapped at Jeff, “Why did you run the InSinkErator for so long?” This would trigger an upset within Jeff. If Jeff wanted to be reactive, he would throw the upset back at Shaleia and say something like, “Because I wanted to, why are you walking around in dirty feet?”
But that would only spiral their interaction into a nasty argument. Instead, Jeff could nip the argument in the bud by bringing awareness to the moment. Then he would say something like, “What you just said didn’t feel very good to me. Can you give your feedback to me in a way that feels more sugary and less salty?”
This would give Shaleia the opportunity to say, “Oh, I didn’t realize I threw something that felt like dirt to you,” or, “Oh, I realize I threw some dirt and I probably shouldn’t have done that.” This way you have an opportunity to make it right before the argument diminishes the Twin Flame Union, or sours the Twin Flame Union just a little bit. When you give your beloved the opportunity to sugar up their feedback, so that it doesn’t sound like criticism or a personal attack, you bring more harmony into your Twin Flame Union.
In this example, we can see how Jeff and Shaleia went from one person throwing dirt and the other person throwing dirt back, and then both of them feeling upset, to one person throwing dirt and the other one person bringing awareness to the moment gently. Bringing awareness to the moment calms down reactivity, and opens space for better communication.
When awareness is brought gently into an argument between Twin Flames, it is significantly better for the Twin Flame Union. It is more relaxing to communicate like this instead of throwing dirt back and forth all day.
Sweetening arguments makes the Mirror Exercise easier
Do you want your Twin Flame Union to give you more spiritual “homework” than you already have? Letting your arguments spiral into unconscious reactivity creates more and more tension in your Twin Flame Union. Those little sour, tense moments add up.
When a Twin Flame Union is riddled with snarky comments and snide remarks, you and your Twin Flame are going unconsciously hold on to more and more negativity. Even if you are aware of the need to do inner work, you might still be tempted to snap back at your Twin Flame. This is because you still think you can rid of negativity by expressing it back to your Twin Flame.
But you’re not actually providing any relief by saying something mean. You just feel a little bit relieved in the moment because you think got something off of your chest and the other person knows what a jerk she was. But if you told the other person she was a jerk to make yourself feel better in the moment, now she is going to carry that unconscious negative energy. And she is going to want to unconsciously get rid of it by throwing it back at you.
Just take a moment to find awareness in an argument. Stop each other and say, “Listen, it didn’t feel great for me to hear that from you. Can you communicate that to me in a different way that feels a little bit more like sugar and a little less like salt?” In this way we give the other person the opportunity to not throw dirt. We’re improving communication and we’re significantly cutting back on the negative tension that can go back and forth in a Twin Flame Union.
Claim your support
Are you finding that a lot of upsets are occurring in your Twin Flame Union? If you need someone to guide you through the Mirror Exercise, we offer FREE consultations. You’ll also find more support by joining our free Facebook group, and subscribing to Twin Flame Ascension School. Not only will you receive the teachings to bring you and your Twin Flame into Harmonious Twin Flame Union, but you’ll also meet other people who understand the unique dynamics of arguments between Twin Flames.
Transcribed by Samhita Chitturi from the video, “HOW TO SWEETEN ARGUEMENTS in Your Relationship (or Twin Flame Union)” by Jeff and Shaleia.